If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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