I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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