Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The Olympian is in my bed
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
