They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
