i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
