Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
