ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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