Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
