how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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