Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
