me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
