Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
