have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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