Ambien. No doubt about it.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Randomize
