I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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