omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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