How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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