if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
