Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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