i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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