Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know š
And he claims I gave him āfuck meā eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
