I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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