did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
