Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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