evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
