I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
