"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
