my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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