do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
