Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
how drunk are you?
Several
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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