I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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