And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
