It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is Oprah even human
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
