I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Help. Why am I so naked?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
