he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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