i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
4 words: hood of his car
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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