What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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