We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
