Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
