I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
