Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
