Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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