how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I looked at my own cervix.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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