my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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