i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
