Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Nicole vs. Life
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
