My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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