A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
