Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
