By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
