I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
