lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
